My husband and I started 'trying' about 10 years ago. We were hoping to start a family early into our marriage, but it wasn’t until we had both finished graduate school (several years later) that we decided to pursue medical intervention. We started with the least invasive protocol and used Clomid for 6 rounds, 2 of which ended in early pregnancy loss. We moved onto intrauterine insemination (IUI) for 4 rounds, all of which were unsuccessful. Finally, we turned to IVF, enduring 5 fresh rounds and 6 frozen rounds resulting in many negative tests and another pregnancy loss. It felt like we were throwing ideas into the wind and hoping something would stick. After 4 very active years of treatments, I’d had… over 1000 injections, 12 procedures, 1 surgery, over 100 eggs retrieved–and no a clear answer as to what was causing us to go through all of this. Once we were down to our last two frozen embryos, we decided it was time to consider gestational surrogacy. After a year of prepping and planning, I am happy to say our surrogate is pregnant(!!) and our baby girl is due this month.
We were fairly private about our journey for the first year. After we had our first losses we opened up to close friends and family. We felt such a significant relief knowing we could talk freely about it and received much support. Further into our journey we told extended family and eventually shared our story on social media. Since then, we’ve felt a flood of support. It’s a powerful feeling knowing that others can now talk to us about their experiences of loss.
To my fellow TTC sisters…. It’s hard, I know--and yet somehow, we find what we need to keep moving. Focus on just today, just this cycle, and be sure to take care of your relationship with your partner. In the dark and hopeless times, your partner is usually the one you’ll turn to. Keep each other close.