I started TTC at 31 years old. I “thought” I had timed it perfectly to go along with my life plan: good career, married by 30 and 3 kids by 35. I had checked off the first two on my list and now only had to get pregnant 3x by the age of 35. Easy, right? I was so naive. When 3 months went by and I was not pregnant, I started to worry. Before I knew it, it had been a year. We started doing cycles of IUI at the doctor’s suggestion. Another 6 months went by and we were still not pregnant. We were labeled “unexplained infertility." After another year of trying with no results, we turned to IVF. By this time, I was 34. I was supposed to have at least 2 kids by now according to “my plan.” The morning I was supposed to go in for my first IVF transfer, I got a phone call that the embryo failed to progress past a certain stage. All the needles, appointments, costs were lost without even the chance of having a transfer. The next day our Dr. told us she finally had a diagnosis: “Poor Egg Quality.” My first question was, “How can I improve it?” Her response: “You can’t and it will only get poorer with age.” 3 months later, I went in for my 2nd IVF treatment. THE SAME EXACT THING HAPPENED. The doctor sat us down and told us she suggested we not try another round of IVF and start looking into look into an egg donor or adoption. When asked if there was any chance for us to conceive on our own, her exact words where, “I give you less than a 1% chance.” Broken, I went to an acupuncture appointment with Angela Le* of Fifth Avenue Fertility Wellness the very next morning. Angela had a plan for me. She suggested that I see a different doctor and to try a process known as coculture as part of the IVF treatment. At this point, I had nothing to lose (except for money, since the doctor suggested did not take my insurance) and decided to follow Angela’s guidance. 3 months later, I was pregnant!
I still look back at that moment where I was told I had less than a 1% chance. It would have been so easy to give up after trying for 5 years and being told my chances were so low. I am grateful every day for all those around me that helped guide me through the hard times. I look at my daughter and am grateful for every day I have with her. I still wonder if she is real sometimes! My infertility struggles have made me the person and the mother I am today. I am a better and stronger woman for it and am grateful that my master plan of having 3 kids by 35 did not go as scheduled. If it had, I would still be living in a fantasy world where I think I have control of everything and would not appreciate life as much as I do now. It’s in the struggles where greatness is born. Stay strong! You are not alone! I am in the middle of journaling and sharing my journey as I try for miracle #2. Follow me on my site jazzkatat.com for resources, news and inspiration for those TTC.