No one expects infertility to be part of their story, and secondary infertility is a totally different mind F. You have one gorgeous, healthy child so it feels greedy and selfish to be so consumed by the need to have another (especially when people struggle to have one).
I had three miscarriages in a year and a half, during the time my daughter was 6 months until 2. The first occurred on Christmas morning.. I went to the ER by myself because I didn’t want this event to anyway cloud my daughter's first Christmas. The following two losses weren’t any easier. While there wasn’t a medical explanation for the RPL (repeated pregnancy loss), after the third we were ready to turn it over to science and decided to jump straight to IVF. I didn't have a problem getting pregnant, but I wanted to utilize my best eggs so I could stay pregnant.
Thanks to fate or divine intervention, I got a positive pregnancy test the morning I was set to order my first round of IVF drugs. Like all of my other pregnancies, I let myself get excited, plan, and told people way earlier than I should have. But I’m happy to report that sometimes things work out and sometimes you have to go through some serious $&@! before you get the happy ending. Baby Fox is turning 1 next month and I’m so thankful that we didn’t give up the fight on getting him here. People said that losses would make sense in time, and I believe they're right. This is the baby I was supposed to have. I'm sending everyone else on this journey all my love, support and positive energy.